Internet Annoyances

Internet/web annoyances. They’ve been with us all along and come in many forms. At first it was simple email spam and a pop up ad. These were occasional and not too bad. Until of course we started surfing more and all of our surfing data was collected, unbeknownst to us way back then, by big corporations and I suspect uncle Sam as well. Over time spam and pop ups seemed to increase exponentially. And then the creepy stalker factor came in to play. You Google something about dog food, aluminum siding, whatever and you are, within the hour bombarded with border ads and spam about, yes you guessed it, the exact same thing you just googled. Now comes social media yay! Now well be able to have personal contact without all those pop ups and spam! Yeah! Uh not so fast there Skippy. Now we have a whole new set of annoyances. I submit to you my pick for official social media annoyances. 1. The emotional blackmail meme. You know the ones. A picture, likely photo shopped of some horribly disfigured child who will only get well if you “like” the page of the person who posted the photo. Oh and if you choose to ignore them you are of course heartless and cruel.

2. The fire and brimstone meme. Similar to the one above but with religious overtones. It usually consists of a split screen picture with a shot of some actor who once portrayed Christ in a movie. Max Von Sydow seems to be a favorite choice. On the other side is something that looks vaguely like the Underwood deviled ham mascot after a lengthy steroid regimen and trying to do, I suppose, it’s best impersonation of Gene Simmons sticking his tongue out. The caption usually reads something like “Share of you’re going to heaven ignore if you’re going to hell”.

3. The update. It’s 2am on a Tuesday in 2006 and you’re casually web surfing. You come across an article or post and comment on it. Oh look a check box asking if I want to see if anyone else comments. Sure I’ll check that! “click” Muah hahaha! Foolish mortal! You will now receive multiple updated on that obscure post you commented on over 8 years ago! Ahahaha! If someone so much as clicks on the post you’ll get an email about it. Ooohh what was that you say you connected your Facebook/Twitter account to that post? Even better! Now we’ll bombard your wall with crap not even related to the original post! Yes, there are other things that annoy on the net but those are my picks.